Where I'm At...

Okay, so here goes confession moment....I LOVED Eddie Murphy Raw in college.  Like love, love, LOVED it. My best girlfriend Sarah and I used to watch it relentlessly...quoting every line...laughing hysterically...and rewinding (yes, VHS) whenever necessary.

Pity on the poor guy I met studying abroad in Spain my junior year of college named Eddie because he was of course victim to this tireless quote-fest anytime I consumed the slightest bit of alcohol. 

"Eddieeeeee...  You treat me like animal, Eddiieee. I'm American woman now Eddieeee."   

(So said African Umfufu and drunk Spain Kayla.)

You get the picture.

What's funny is that I never would have guessed in a million years that a vulgar stand-up routine would offer the script to what is now one of my favorite lines in life...

"I'm going to BE where I'm AT!"  

Of course Umfufu was just asserting her new-found American independence as a woman and talking more about her physical location than her spiritual residence.... But it speaks to me nonetheless.

My older sister and I have pined for years about "just being" in life. Just being ourselves. Just being happy. Just being in the moment. Just plain being. And as much as I've always felt the elusiveness of that concept, I'm finally realizing what it means to just be....and especially to just be where you're at.

I crossed paths with a woman today who is deeply grieving a loss of a family member right now. In her haste to keep up with the pace of the world, she was pushing herself to "get back in the game" with work and to hurry through very real emotions. Couldn't we all offer ourselves just a little more tenderness and grace to be where we're at...to writhe in the thick of it....to acknowledge the space around us...and to allow ourselves to quietly, lovingly reside in the truth of our existence in each moment?

This nudge came up yet again in another conversation today. A close girlfriend is getting over a horrific break-up and was openly bullying herself to stop thinking about this guy...berating herself over and over again. I was reminded of Umfufu and her powerful assertion....I'm going to be where I'm at...and I was compelled to ask this friend if she could extend that same grace to herself. An a-ha moment...

What would happen if we all allowed ourselves to be where we're at? If we lovingly, tenderly, graciously and patiently waited with ourselves as we walked each step of this journey...

It isn't about stagnating. It isn't about staying in one spot forever. But it's instead about honoring the moment, finding peace even among discomfort, and when ready, taking the next step forward.

I love that.

And I still admit that I love good ol' Eddie and all the laughter shared between friends in that moment in time. 

Where are you at today? Are you allowing yourself to just be where's you're at? 

I'm sending myself a friendly reminder that this life is a journey....that healing is all about practice....and that everything will be okay!