Kayla Burns Floyd: April 2012

Monday, April 30, 2012

A Magic Potion

I just got off a great group coaching call with my coach Allison Crow, and my mind is busy, busy, busy.

Ever since I got back from last week's Renewal Retreat, I have been awash in the glow of self-love. It seemingly happened all at once, but I know in my heart place that it was the result of thoughts, practices and intentions put into motion long before I felt the bliss of its warmth wash over me.

And now I am here.

Feeling the calm peace of the centered-ness I have long pined for. Enjoying the soothing quiet of a still mind at last. Reflecting with abundant grace on this great circular path.

The most amazing part of this awakening has been the shift in my perspective, the literal change in my senses. I see people now. I see right through their physical, fleshy vessels and into the most delicate parts of their soul crying out to be seen. I hear people now. I listen to the words that flow from their mouths and hear directly into the heart of the child and the meaning behind the words they're really saying. I am experiencing heightened states of awareness when it comes to the pain each carries, and it has me vibrating beyond anything I've ever felt.

What's so impactful about this experience for me is that there is no heaviness there. There is no sorrow. I am not weighted by what I'm seeing, hearing, and feeling from others. I am empowered by it. I am motivated. I am inspired to action.

And so I've turned to my work. Revamping my coaching programs... Reflecting on my own process that got me to this point... Tinkering with ideas to spread this indescribable peace.

If I could bottle a magic potion and distribute it to the world, I would. But the widsom in me knows that quick fixes are just that...quick. Quick to come and quick to go. Lasting peace takes the work. And the work takes desire. And desire is fueled by knowing what we don't want. And knowing what we don't want is clarified by pain.

So today I'm studying the tapes of the opponent. I'm looking at pain, analyzing its trick plays, and working on my own strategies for leading people through the game victorious. It feels good. It feels fucking great actually.

I have stepped with both feet into my worth in the past week, and I'm so looking forward to helping others do the same.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A Love Letter

The Hawaiians believe that the exhale comes before the inhale...that before you can gulp in the deliciously intoxicating pureness of new, you have to expel the heavy thickness of old.

I love this way of seeing.

The last four days at the Renewal Retreat have been one long cleansing sigh for me. Releasing my body of negative patterns that no longer serve me... Allowing my mind to quiet the looping chatter that drowns my inner whisper... Shedding from my heart the layers that mute my radiance.

And at the end of that giant, labored exhale came the most beautiful aspiration of light, of love, of me.

This letter is my inhale. It is the product of a gathering with magical souls. It is what happened for me unexpectedly yesterday morning when I stripped off layers that were never mine to bear. It is the awakening I finally experienced to the precious beauty that is me.

This is the love and soothing I was finally able to truly offer myself and that I will keep offering again and again...

Kayla, it's okay to feel confused. You are doing so, so well. You only embarked on this journey of self-love 10 short months ago, and look how far you've come. It's so brave to willingly open yourself up and proclaim "I could be different... I have things I could change... Lots of things!" You are right where you're supposed to be and now could be the time that you finally break the habit of being so hard on yourself. Who would you be if you opened your heart to you? Who would come sailing out of that big heart of yours if you saw your potential as I see it? You are magic. You are effervescence. You are sunshine. And you are grace. If only you saw what I see. If only you saw the beauty and the love and the pure perfection. It's okay to cry. It's okay to laugh. It's okay to dance completely off beat. You are struggling so well, and I see the potential for when you decide to let go of the struggle. Flow, my love. You're safe. I'll catch you until you realize you have wings. Float, flutter, sail, soar. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are the love of my life. You are the person I look forward to seeing everyday. You make me feel warmer and lighter than anyone else in this life. I love laughing with you. I adore being by your side. I feel your pain when you hurt. You are my everything, and I'll never leave you. I'll never turn my back on you. There's nothing you can do to ever lose my love or make me see you any differently. You are pure perfection to me, and I revel in everything about you. I am so infinitely grateful that you are my partner in this life...that you are my friend...that you are my lover...that you are my confidante...that you are me.